Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press,
On behalf of the Reno Sheriff’s Department, we would like to
address the film entitled Reno 911!: Miami. THIS FILM IS NOT
ENDORSED IN ANY WAY BY THE RENO SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT.
We were told by the good people (pronounced: dirty liars) at
Twentieth Century Fox that the documentary film about our
trip to the National Police Convention in Miami Beach would
be called: American Heroes: South Beach Edition.
Turns out this was classic Hollywood bull****. The film that
has been made from the footage of us is an outrageous web of
lies. The brave men and women of the Reno Sheriff’s
Department have been edited together in a way that makes us
look like we’re brain damaged. (We, aren’t!)
YES, there were some unfortunate events that took place
during our time in Miami. Yes, people got hurt. Yes,
property got destroyed. And yes, one nude person and some
passers-by got parts of an exploded narwhale on them.
But... the truth is: we also did a lot of good. And, none of
us is sure it was really a narwhale. It might have been a
sperm whale, or some other kind of whale.
We would also like to address the title of the film.
Reno 911!: Miami
WTF? That must be the stupidest title in the history of
cinema. That’s like calling something Las Vegas Justice
Minneapolis. Or Philadelphia Emergency St. Louis. IT DOESN’T
MAKE ANY SENSE.
If you understand the title, please call us, because we do
not.
We urge you to tell the Fox and Twentieth Century Fox people
to STOP THE LIES.
Your servant,
Lt. Jim Dangle, Reno Sheriff’s Department. Reno NV.
TM and ©2007 Twentieth Century Fox. All rights reserved.
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