REVIEW: THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
SYNOPSIS: NATE COOPER (Joel David Moore) has been
smitten with CRISTABEL ABBOTT (Paris Hilton) since he first
laid eyes on her at the impressionable age of six. But
before he could try and snuggle up to her at nap time, or
maybe send her a valentine, his family moved away. In the
intervening years there have been other women in Nate's
life, but none who could measure up to Cristabel. Convinced
she's the only girl for him, Nate decides to move back to
L.A. and track her down.
The good news: she's still single and stunning. The bad
news: there's a reason she's still single. Cristabel's still
best friends with the same ugly little girl Nate remembers
from first grade, JUNE PHIGG (Christine Lakin). The two are
inseparable. They live together. They go to yoga together.
They would even go on double dates together...if only June
could get a date. And Cristabel simply refuses to leave dear
June home alone.
REVIEW: Is it not
obvious that this movie is all about exploiting Paris
Hilton? Do you think her acting skills have dramatically
improved? Do you think this movie is going to make it big at
the box office? The answers are YES, NO, and NO, just in
case you weren’t sure which would mean you are a huge Paris
Hilton fan. Honestly, you are going to need to be if you
really want to enjoy this movie. I’m not a big fan of Ms.
Hilton, but I don’t dislike her either. Sure she’s easy on
the eyes, but are we that gullible? This movie could have
just as well been an hour and a half of Paris strutting up
and down a supermodel runway wearing all kinds of outfits.
Actually that might have been better because she would have
a lot less dialogue. Oh Paris my dear, count your blessings.
This movie does a good job of overrating her. I actually
went in hoping to be surprised by a Paris in the process of
developing her talent, but I wasn’t.
As for the rest of the movie, well it was exaggerated, lame,
gross, cheap, and predictable. Some moments were so
annoyingly stupid that I had to look away. The exaggeration
was seen in the portrayal of Cristabelle’s (Paris) hotness
and June’s (Christine Lakin) notness. The ugly duckling
version of June was excessively gross. Some of the humor in
the movie was excessively lame and plenty of lines and
scenarios were excessively cheap. The outcome of the story
was excessively predictable and I am excessively using the
word excessive (I guess it must be the word of the day). But
you know what, even after all the negativity, the overall
story is actually kind of cute. It is hard to resist one of
those “ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan” stories.
This is probably the most extreme case I’ve ever seen.
Christine Lakin is a beautiful woman and they made her look
totally nasty. I mean really gross nasty. The best part of
the movie was her transformation. Heck, she turned out to be
more a hottie than Paris.
I actually felt a little sorry for Christine Lakin and
leading man Joel Moore as Nate Cooper. You might remember
Joel from Dodgeball. He’s that tall lanky guy on Team
Average Joe’s that falls in love with the very ugly female
competitor on Team Cobras. Hmmm, interesting. Well, these
two actually gave half-decent performances. It’s a shame
they were trapped in this, this . . . whatever. Every now
and then, though, I was reminded of Shallow Hal and
Cinderella for some reason. Don’t ask cause I don’t know
why. To Director Tom Putnam, I send my sympathies.
Review By Cine Marcos
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